Want to Know How I Turned My Perfectionism on Its Head?


You know that moment when you hit “send” and then think “oh, crap"? 

This happened to me (twice!) just the other week.

I realized the error but it was too late. It was gone. The internet had magically delivered it. There was no turning back.

I was starting the pre-launch of my virtual program, Being Good with Being You, and was so excited to share some free videos with my incredible audience (aka you).

At the same time, I decided to switch my blogging platform to my website and change how my blogs are sent to my list of loyal readers (again, you).

Right in the midst of my pre-launch, the magical mystical incomprehensible internet decided to send the same blog post to my list twice in the same day, only minutes apart.

My gut sank. Oh, no. Here I am, already sending out a number of emails and videos to my audience with the intent to offer value and inspiration and now I’m inundating their inbox with a duplicate message!

I took a moment to think about what I ought to do. The perfectionist in me was screaming, “Fix it!! Make it right!! Send another message explaining what happened so all can be forgiven!!"

Then, another voice (which happened to be the voice of a dear friend of mine) said, “It’s fine. Better not to send another email at this point."

Finally, another voice (this one coming from deep within) said, “It is what it is. Just surrender."

Just to be sure that I truly knew how to surrender my perfectionism and test my ability to stay calm through it all, the universe (or the internet, whichever you prefer to call it) decided to test me one more time just a few days later.

This time, an email got sent out with a glaring error in it. It wasn’t just a word that was misspelled or a comma out of place. It was an entire copy-and-paste-gone-wrong scenario.

Again, my heart sank and the perfectionist was ready to fight. Luckily, this time, my deeper voice was quicker on the scene and immediately reminded me to take a few breaths and surrender. It is what it is.

A major theme in my work lately has been about perfectionism and seeing how it’s cropped up in my own life time and time again, and just how limiting it can be. (If you haven’t done so already, be sure to download my free ebook on this very topic.)

With all of this introspection, I started to judge the word “perfect” as destructive and avoided using it as often as possible. I stood firmly that perfectionism only limits us and is something that needs to be overcome.

The reason I have taken this stance so vigorously in the past is because I have seen and personally experienced the negative impacts from striving for perfection. I know I’m not the only one who sees or experiences this. It bombards our society, our marketing, our bookshelves, our conversations, you name it.

Recently, I finished reading Michael Singer’s book, “The Surrender Experiment,” and he uses the word “perfect” quite a bit. At first, I was put off by it and resisted the use of that word. Then, I paused and noticed how he was using it. It wasn’t in the way many of us might think.

A few days later I was doing my Morning Pages and it struck me, “What if my definition of perfectionism no longer serves me? What if there is another definition?"

What if “perfect” doesn’t mean something going exactly the way I want it to and living up to my standards and, rather, perfectionism is when something goes exactly as it’s meant to?

This new perspective allows me to no longer have the same recoiling reaction I’ve had to the word “perfect.” I now see how everything that occurs when we release our own expectations, limitations, or control is just that. 

When we release our grip on our own perfectionism, we are free to experience the perfectionism of the universe. {Tweet that!}

For an instant gratification society, this may not be the most ideal working definition because it might take some time to see how a moment or an event is indeed perfect. This requires trust that everything is exactly as it’s meant to be. But it is well worth it. The freedom and expansion that comes from this belief is transformative.

As I think back on my two recent email “blunders,” I now see how they provided me with a perfect opportunity to surrender and share this message with others.

Had those emails not gone out with “imperfections,” inspiration for this message would not have been received, and this post would not have been written and shared.

Now it's your turn! What is your working definition of “perfect”? I’d love to hear what you think so please take a moment to share your thoughts in the comments below.

With love & gratitude,

P.S. I felt a strong calling to switch it up this week and publish a written blog instead of a video. I’d love to hear what you think and if you happen to prefer one over the other! Leave it in the comments below or share it on my Facebook page