Becoming Enough: An Author's Journey #2

Writing a book about becoming enough brings with it plenty of opportunities to practice what I preach and be okay with who I already am and trust the inherent perfection of all things. (If you are curious just what my book is about, check this out.)

This can certainly feel challenging when I’m in the midst of deadlines (albeit self-imposed). Before the year was out, I found myself thinking, “I’m behind schedule.” My intention had been to write a chapter a week starting in November and I went a couple of weeks without writing or submitting anything to my publisher. In the past, it would have been all too easy to think of myself as a failure, to see how I’m not doing enough, how I’m slacking off and will never make it in life. (Yes, that is how extreme my ego can make things.)

Instead, I took deep breath and said, “It’s enough.” I celebrated what I had accomplished (having written nearly 17,500 words and receiving clear inspiration for the cover design) as opposed to focusing on what I hadn’t. And, like all things do, it unfolded perfectly. I am writing the chapter I am to write now. The conversations I have had recently, the mental clarity I have today, the lessons I’ve learned each day leading up until now have prepared me for what it is I am to write about. I couldn’t have written what I was “supposed to” write in December before now.

This is the magic of creation—of life—when we get out of our own way. 

Now, when I am “behind schedule,” I trust that what is meant to come through me will come through me at exactly the right time. This is true because I am open and willing. As I deepen into this trust, I can release my need to control things, feel “less than,” or be hard on myself when things don’t initially “go as planned.” This is available to all of us; it is not something reserved for me as a writer of being enough. 

If you didn’t read my last update on how I got to where I am today, I invite you to take a peek to better understand the many steps that unfolded perfectly in their own perfect time. And, be sure to sign up to receive future updates directly to your inbox along with early-bird opportunities to get your copy of Becoming Enough including an opportunity to receive a copy for free!

Finding Grace

grace

noun 

  1. unmerited favor.
  2. knowing that I am accepted, loved, and enough just the way I am.

This year, I had the sincere privilege of defining what grace means to me and write a story to exemplify this in an inspiring way. This definition served as the foundation for me to write my story which became part of the #1 best selling book, 365 Moments of Grace, which was released earlier this week. 

This is a realization of a practice I started doing last year—declaring my "I am's" while lying in bed before going to sleep. A practice I learned from Wayne Dyer's book, Wishes Fulfilled. And the power of the "I AM's" is mighty indeed! Here I am: a published author. I couldn't be prouder! 

I hope you enjoy my story and are inspired by the simplicity of the realization that struck me while on the subway. There are plenty more like it inside the book which I invite you to check out.

Epiphany on the F Train 

After quitting my job and exploring what it was I wanted to do and create and how I wanted to serve others, I was standing on the F train in New York City when it struck me: What if it’s not about doing more or being better; what if it’s about being good with being you?

This became my mantra and, though I didn’t know it at the time, my personal and professional mission for the next 365+ days. This was not just a pivotal moment for me; it was a whole new way of looking at the world and at my life.

Ever since I was a little girl, I looked for ways to improve myself, thinking that if I shaved the hair off my arms, then I would be accepted; if I got better grades, then I would be enough; if I figured out why I am the way I am, then I could finally “fix” it and be lovable.

I have always had this knack for self-improvement. I just love to pick up a good self-help book, curl up on the couch, and mull over all the ways I have been doing it wrong. I certainly don’t believe that personal growth is a bad thing – after all, change/growth/evolution is the only constant! The thing is, though, I spent the past 30-some years forgetting a crucial part of this: grace. Unmerited favor. Knowing that I am accepted, loved, and enough just the way I am. There is nothing I can do for this to be more or less true.

It’s all too easy for me to make things bigger, better, and faster, which is why it was so important for me to consciously set that aside and practice the thing I had neglected my entire life – love and acceptance of who I am, exactly as I am. Without this, any pursuit simply reinforces the false belief that I am not already a masterpiece and am only a never-ending work-in-progress that is not quite yet deserving of love and acceptance.

This new understanding is not the end of the story for me, and I am ready for the next stage in my evolution – but this time I know that it will include a whole lot of self-acceptance, love, and grace.

If you're interested in learning more about this book and what an incredible opportunity it has been for me and the other 250+ authors, I invite you to read more on Dan Teck's blog. He and his wife, Jodi Chapman, are the inspiration behind the 365 Book Series—a brilliant way to inspire, uplift, and remind us of just how magical our world is and how connected we truly are. 

Learning to Accept What Is: Part 2

And, we're back.

This whole idea of acceptance and accepting what is can be a real doozy. We started talking about it in the last video which you can watch here if you haven't already.

In today's video, we take a look at the second part of learning to accept what is. There are a lot of misconceptions of what it means to accept what is and in this video we explore how it's not just rolling over or giving up. 

So, what is it then? Watch the video to find out!

Acceptance does not lead to apathy; acceptance leads to peace.

We have now looked at the first two stages of the SOAR framework and will take a look at the final stage—releasing our attachments—in the next video.

See you then!

Learning to Accept What Is: Part 1

Acceptance. The word alone can bring up a bunch of resistance for most of us. 

Many of us have a bad taste in our mouths when we think of "accepting what is"—at least I did when I first started down this path.

Now, I feel quite differently about it, and maybe you do, too.

Either way, in today's video we explore the first part of this stage of learning to accept what is. Much like what we learned in the first two videos which you can find here and here, we will start with awareness.

Watch today's video to learn more about what it really means to accept what is and the first step to practicing it more often.

“Whenever you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Once you watch the video, I'd love to hear from you what the most difficult thing is for you when it comes to accepting what is. 

This continues to evolve for me as I imagine it does for you.

I'll see you in the next video where we explore the second part of this stage and answer the question, "So how exactly do I accept what is without just rolling over and giving up?" 

Becoming the Observer: Part 2

And, we're back. 

Welcome to the second video in the 6-part video series that outlines the process I learned, practiced, and teach on how to go from "never enough" to "always okay." 

If you missed the first video, you can watch it here.

In today's video, we are going to explore the second part of becoming the observer which helps us to answer the question: "So, now that I know what my judgments are, how do I practice more non-judgmental awareness?"

Great question.

Watch today's video to learn more about what this means and just how to do it.

“Ask yourself if you are judging the moment or outcome as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and challenge yourself to accept it ‘as is’—neither good nor bad, right nor wrong—we never know the purpose of a moment until the moment has passed.” ~ Gay Hendricks

I'm curious how it goes for you. Once you watch the video, let me know in the comments below or over on my Facebook page!

See you in the next video where we will explore the second stage to the SOAR framework and learn how to accept what is. You won't want to miss this one!

Becoming the Observer: Part 1

During the month of April, I wanted to share the process that serves as my foundational framework for everything I have learned, practice, and teach. I was inspired to create this framework, which I call SOAR—Simply Observer, Accept, and Release—nearly two years ago while floating in my brother's pool in Florida. Not a bad place to be struck by the Divine! Of course, I didn't realize it then, but that spark of inspiration has guided everything I do and create for many years.

In this 6-part video series, I share an overview of what this process is and how to put it into practice in your own life. 

The first stage of the process is to simply observe and we start by doing this with our judgments. During this first stage, we are learning to move out of judgment and into more non-judgmental awareness. While it may seem like a simple concept, it takes time and practice—but that's okay, because it's being on the path that is important, not "getting somewhere." 

Watch this video to learn more about the first part to becoming the observer and learn a simple practice you can take with you into your daily life.

"A judgment is harmless if you immediately recognize it as such and don't completely believe in it anymore. Then, gradually, awareness dissolves the judgmental mind." - Eckhart Tolle

What judgments can you recognize as such so they no longer have the same power over you as they once did?

Next up: becoming the observer, part 2! This is where we start to answer the question, "so, how do I practice more non-judgmental awareness?" 

See you then!

 

The 3 “P’s” for a Happier Life

The 3 “P’s” for a Happier Life

Now that it’s been over two years since I quit my full-time job, I’ve had lots of time to learn what it means to be my own boss. Through the creation of my own business, I’ve gotten to see common themes and patterns emerge that are incredible teachers to me.

Of course, it’s not just in my business that these lessons show up. 

I’m noticing how there are three important things I am consistently being asked to practice more and more often in my business and in my relationship with my partner and with myself.

In today’s video, you’ll learn the three things to practice whether you’re starting a business, in a relationship, or simply looking to live a more expansive and happier existence.

Read More

How to Uncover Mind-Blowing Truths

The past couple of weeks have been chock-full of deep deep lessons. A lot is coming up for me and I can tell I’m working through a lot of old stories and beliefs. And in the process, I’m uncovering a few things that are kind of surprising.

In today’s video, I share with you just what this deep Truth is and how exactly I went about uncovering it so that you can try the same thing yourself.

If you’re anything like me and enjoy looking for the lessons in everything (or would like to do this more often), I invite you to watch today’s video and learn a process you can use to do just that. (Who knows, it might just blow your mind!)

I’m starting to notice just how many layers there are to this journey of revealing one’s wholeness. And I’m still somewhat surprised what I discover underneath each new layer.

The cool thing is that it gets more encouraging and inspirational the further I go.

It’s like digging for buried treasure and, while your arms might start getting tired the further you dig and you may even start to feel a bit impatient, sooner or later you strike something hard and you are encouraged to keep digging because you know you’re about to reveal something magnificent.

Part of what I discovered as I started digging for this treasure is what I’ve been avoiding—which completely shocked me. I shared in another video a simple question that we can all use to reduce guilt and increase clarity and it involves exploring what we are avoiding and how to better assess why we’re avoiding something to begin with.

I also discovered (again) just how important it is to feel something fully and completely, which I talked about in this previous video.

As I continue digging, I become more and more clear that there is nothing to “fix” but there are so many lessons to learn and if we can remain open and curious to them, it’s incredible just how much more of our wholeness we can uncover.

Looking for the lesson doesn’t imply something is broken; it implies there's something to be revealed. {Tweet that!}

In order to reach the buried treasure, we must be willing to sweat and maybe even get a little dirty. So the next time you sense there’s a deeper Truth or part of yourself just waiting to be revealed, take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves, and start digging. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! What mind-blowing awareness did you have recently? Share your treasure in the comments below so we can all deepen into our own Truth through someone else’s experience.

Do you know someone who could benefit from learning how to uncover more of their own treasure that lies within? If so, please pass this along to them and be part of the ripple effect.

With profound appreciation,

A

P.S. If you want to dig for even more gold, be sure to join me for my Being You Holiday Challenge! Together we will use the process I discovered is key to going from “never enough” to “always okay” and serves as the framework for my signature training program, Being Good with Being You. Did I mention it’s free to join? I’d love to have you there! 

My New Approach to Life (and Why It’s worth Trying)

Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks) when you didn’t think you could feel any worse? When those old hurts and stories and patterns started to emerge? 

I had one of those just the other day. 

It sucked. I was angry, sad, resentful, and sick to my stomach. But, there was something different about this experience that I hadn’t been aware of before.

In today’s video, I examine what was so different about my recent experience and how it is offering me a whole new perspective on life and how to approach it.

If you’re anything like me and have found yourself unsure of what to do during times like this, I invite you to watch today’s video where I share my reflections that could be just the thing you’ve been looking for.

For so many of us, we do a lot of inner work so as to avoid feeling certain ways or experiencing certain parts of ourselves (at least, that was the case for me). 

What I’m learning is that the journey isn’t about avoiding but rather embracing all parts of ourselves (even the parts that feel painful or “bad” or undesirable). And for those of us on this spiritual quest, it can be all too easy to think we’re supposed to be all “light” when we’re here to experience the whole range. This is where true experience and healing can occur.

It’s not about getting to a place of all "light” and no “shadow” but rather no longer judging any of it as good or bad. {Tweet that!}

In order to be able to ask the questions that matter and uncover the Truth that lies within us, we first need to accept and embrace ALL of it. So the next time you think that you shouldn’t be feeling this way or you don’t want to experience this pain, I invite you to feel it all and embrace the full range of emotions of what it means to be alive and notice that in so doing you are, always have been, and always will be okay.

Now, I’d love to hear from you! What does this bring up for you or what insights do you have to share? Post your learnings and reflections in the comments below so we can all learn from one another on this incredible journey.

Do you know someone who could benefit from living a fuller existence? If so, please pass this along to them. It is always much appreciated!

With love & gratitude,

xoxo

Life-Altering Lessons Learned from the Sacred Valley

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Many of us are on a journey. For some of us, it is a physical journey traveling or nomad-ing around. For others, it is an inner, spiritual journey. And for some of you like me, it’s a combination of both.

As some of you may know, I am in the beautiful and sacred land of Peru where I am spending three weeks traveling and participating in an Embodying Love retreat (hosted by the incredible Cora Poage and Ginny Muir) and exploring the mystical and magical parts of this exquisite country (along with my inner world). And, what a powerful trip it has been!

Not only have I been blown away by the beauty of the land and the people of this country, but I have also been blown away by the lessons that this trip has in store for me.

In today’s blog, I share the top lessons this land has taught me during my time here on retreat as I reconnected with the Earth, my Inner Light, and experienced Divine Love on a cellular level.

If you’re anything like me and have ever found yourself wondering if you’re deserving of receiving this kind of love, I invite you to read today’s blog and be reminded of just how deserving you are and what exactly it takes (and doesn’t take).

As a lifelong member and current President of the Soulful Inquirer Club, I have gathered a lot of lessons and timeless reminders over the years. I’m always on the lookout for a new awareness or a-ha moment as I continue to reveal more and more of my True self.

It never fails to surprise me that many of the lessons we learn aren’t new lessons but rather ageless reminders that we’ve heard many, many times before. And so it was the case as I uncovered even more of my True self in the depths of the Sacred Valley in Peru. The lessons I learned here weren’t necessarily new but they resonated with me on a whole new level.

The thing I want to share most with you is that we are all deserving of Divine Love (with a capital “L”).

I was reminded on a deep, deep level that while there is a price of admission, there is one thing we do not need to buy into which totally blew my mind (and might blow yours, too).

So, what’s the cost (and what’s the belief we can give up once and for all)?

We do not need to suffer.

Yep, that’s right.

I know it might go against nearly every grain in your body—at least it did (does) mine. 

It became crystal clear to me just how undeserving I have felt of Divine Love because I haven’t suffered enough. I can recall all the times I told myself (and others) that I haven’t had enough tragedies or never “hit rock bottom” and, because of this, I developed a story that I wasn’t deserving. 

To top it off, because I hadn’t yet suffered enough (and believed I had to), I decided I needed to create more suffering in my life. I certainly couldn’t just go around as if everything was hunky-dory or enjoy life!

The lesson that hit me like a ton of bricks is the Truth that suffering is not a requirement to receiving the love, peace, and ease that each and every one of us are innately deserving.

While this may require a shift in paradigm or creating a whole new story, I invite you to really hear these words and see where in your own life you either feel undeserving or possibly even create suffering due to a belief like this.

Now that we have been reminded of what we no longer need to do to receive this Divine experience, let’s take a look at what is required of us. (We’re not off the hook completely.)

We do need to commit to radical self-responsibility.

As the youngest of four, it’s been all too easy for me to say those magic words more than once: “It wasn’t me."

My desire and ability to off-load responsibility at any opportunity has been pretty comfortable and easy for me for much of my life. However, what I’m learning more recently is that as I begin to see myself as a co-creator of my reality, taking responsibility is part of the game.

We are all deserving of love, peace, ease, and experiencing what it feels like to experience more of our True selves. The price of admission for this incredible ride includes taking full responsibility for each and every one of our choices. This may not always feel natural or comfortable, but the alternative is much less desirable. 

As we begin to take full responsibility and get out of our victim mindset (which the ego just loves!) we lighten our load and we begin to experience our own power. We acknowledge that we are responsible for how we feel, how we react, what we choose to do (or not do), and for all of the incredible love, peace, and ease we co-create in our lives.

Something I invite you to ponder is: Where are you not claiming responsibility in your life? What’s one thing you can take full responsibility for in this very moment?

The price of admission for Divine Love isn’t suffering; it’s radical self-responsibility. {Tweet that!}

One of the first things we can do is take responsibility for the suffering we have created in our lives and then, lovingly, choose a new way. 

We do not gain brownie points for being miserable and our suffering does not diminish the suffering of others—it simply keeps us from providing the love and light that is necessary in those situations.

Now that we have been invited to let go of the belief that we are not deserving unless we suffer, let’s commit to radical self-responsibility. I invite you to join me on this radical quest to notice all the ways we create our own reality and choose our own circumstances. While it may feel a little scary at first, I promise you the empowerment experienced far outweighs the fear.

After you’ve read the blog and reflected on the questions posed, share your commitment to choosing responsibility over suffering in the comments below the blog.

And, if you know someone who could benefit from being reminded of their deservingness and experience more love and peace through their own empowered choices, please share this with them.

With love & devotion.