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How Learning This One Thing Changed My Life


Why is life so f*cking hard sometimes?

Up until a couple of years ago, this was a recurring question for me. My life was filled with stress, worry, never being good enough, always wanting something more, never knowing what that something was.

My critic ran the show.

I was depressed, moody, uncertain of what to do with my life. I felt like I was going nowhere. And I was so tired of feeling that way.

Then I finally woke up and I started asking a different question.

Why would I want to experience life this way any longer?

It’s pretty clear that most of us walk around every day feeling pretty miserable.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who have woken up and realize that there is more to life than going through the motions, feeling sorry for ourselves, and wishing it could be easier.

Well, I’m here to tell you that we can all wake up and feel less miserable.

When I finally decided that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore, some pretty incredible things started to happen in my life.

And it all started with one crazy idea.

I am not my thoughts.

I am not my emotions either. Whoa.

When we recognize that we are not our thoughts or emotions, we can question them without questioning our true identity. Knowing that I am not the thoughts in my head, I can then sit back and observe them for what they are—just thoughts. Knowing that I am not the feelings in my body, I can observe and feel the emotions for exactly what they are—physical sensations in my body attached to a thought.

I learned that I am okay.

Part of knowing that I’m actually the observer of what is going on meant that I could be okay no matter what happened. If I am not my thoughts, then I am not the one who needs to be perfect (that’s my inner critic). It was my thoughts (aka ego) telling me that I had to be or do it a certain way. When I started to question that, I started to notice that even when I don’t act or do things a certain way, I’m still okay. (I dare you to try it. Think of one thing you always do and stop doing it. See what happens.)

Life got so much easier.

Seriously. Things just feel so much easier when I’m not constantly believing every little thought that pops into my head. My relationships got easier—I wasn’t constantly worried about what the other person thought about me. Work got easier—I wasn’t constantly worried that I wasn’t doing enough or would somehow “mess up.” And alone time got easier because I learned to enjoy the moment while watching my thoughts from a distance.

Things worked out.

When I started exploring this new way of being, I went from living out of fear and scarcity to living from a place of trust and abundance. I went from thinking “what if?” to trusting that it will work out. And guess what? It did! I quit my job with no plan B … and everything has worked out!

I still have those days even now (though they are fewer and farther between for sure) when I slip back into feeling depressed or unhappy or judgmental. The difference is I have learned to accept that this is just part of being human and how to find my way back to my true self.

When we start to question our thoughts, we can change our entire experience of living. [Tweet that!]

What has been one of the most important things you have learned to help you when you’re feeling down or out of sorts? Share in the comments below and help others learn new ways to improve their experience of life.

If you enjoyed this blog, be sure to sign up to receive my weekly updates straight to your inbox. When you sign up you’ll receive my 10 dirty little secrets to loving the life I have. Also, next week I will be launching my new video series, “Out with the Old (Beliefs), In with the New” which you won’t want to miss!

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